Won't Lose to Heartbreak
by Scifiroots
Summary: Bruce wonders what guarantee he could have not to get his heart broken... Perhaps a shared vision would help convince him. BruceJohnny


Won't Lose to Heartbreak

**Author**: Clarity Scifiroots  
**Disclaimers**: This is a story written by a fan for other fans (and myself). Merely for entertainment purposes and not to be considered "official" in any way. No profit is made from fic writing, I assure, or else I would have a tidy little fortune and wouldn't have to worry about taking out a loan for college.  
**Notes**: A Dead Zone (Bruce/Johnny) response to kneazles's multifandom request based on "time." **Written prior season four's premieres—based on seasons 1-3**  
**Summary**: Bruce wonders what guarantee he could have not to get his heart broken... Perhaps a shared vision would help convince him.  
_Edited: July 4, 2005_

If only he had a little more time. He needed more room to breath, to think, to try and figure out just what the consequences would be of his decision. Damn it, why was he being pressured to answer quickly? He wished momentarily that he could see into the future in order to have some sense if things could be worked out.

What he couldn't easily admit was that he was afraid of what lay ahead: what if Johnny changed his mind? What guarantee could there be on a relationship beyond friendship? Sarah's ghost would always be haunting them—in Johnny's case, quite literally. And it wasn't as if Bruce could forget about Dana or _the memory_ of a girl Johnny had become infatuated with. He was facing a line-up of incredibly beautiful, independent women. Perhaps that meant he wouldn't have to deal with the unpleasant situation of having an ex-lover's name called out in bed, but the history of thirty-something years of heterosexuality (okay, less, since Sarah and Johnny had only figured out the mutual attraction thing around age twelve) could not be ignored! What would he be? An experiment? Another trial in the long process of coming to terms with Sarah and Walt's relationship?

God, he didn't want to be "second best" or some part of merely entertaining his friend for a time so he could get off and unwind. Damn Johnny anyway for asking! The sneaky bastard probably already knew how Bruce felt, how fragile his hold on such emotions already was.

_We would never survive if we made a mistake and he broke my heart_, he thought helplessly.

Bruce lifted his gaze slowly when he heard Johnny's cane tapping on the floor, moving in his direction. Johnny wore an expression of determination when he appeared in the doorway, pausing for a moment, perhaps needing to brace himself against the look of betrayal in Bruce's eyes.

Without a word, Johnny closed the distance between them and grabbed Bruce's hand so that the head of Johnny's cane was between their palms—

_They were thrown headlong into a tunnel full of images rushing by so fast that only a blur of color was visible. Sounds that might have been voices whistled like a brisk wind past their ears. Bruce couldn't help feeling like they were tumbling like Alice down the rabbit hole._

_After what felt like endless moments the world around them began to clearly define itself and the sound finally slowed to an audible pace._

"_You know that we shouldn't keep on hiding this," the vision Johnny was saying calmly to Bruce's double. Johnny smiled slightly, his eyes warm._

_Bruce shook his head and sounded anxious when he replied; "No, no, and no! It's not that big of deal right now, is it? So let's just keep it this way."_

_Johnny nodded in acceptance, a hint of sadness or perhaps disappointment appearing on his face for a fleeting instant. "It won't matter what they say, you know." He waited until Bruce met his gaze; "I love you. Nothing external is going to change that."_

_Bruce sighed and went over to embrace the other man. "Just a little more time..."_

_They were thrown down the tunnel of rushing colors and sounds again before jerking abruptly to a halt in another vision._

_They stood in an all-too-familiar hospital waiting room and watched Bruce pacing nervously in front of a bench where Sarah sat, wringing her hands helplessly. She kept sneaking glances at the upset man, but it seemed to take a while before she could find her voice. _

"_Bruce, will he be all right?"_

_He stopped and turned to face her, as if surprised that she would ever talk to him. His stunned look made her laugh. Sarah reached out her hand to clasp his forearm. "Don't look so startled!" She sobered. "What do you think? You're more familiar with... you know, the visions."_

_Bruce carefully sat down beside her and frowned. "But nothing like this."_

_They sat in silence for a time. Again it was Sarah who spoke. "I'm glad..." she said, "that you guys... worked things out." She smiled shyly; again Bruce stared at her in shock. Sarah chuckled and shook her head in amusement. "For heaven's sake, why do you look so surprised?"_

_Bruce frowned. "We never agreed to tell anyone—"_

_Sarah patted his shoulder comfortingly. "Believe me, you didn't really need to. Of course, I don't know exactly _when_ it happened, it's just that we started to notice it eventually."_

"_We?" Bruce muttered, looking a little pale._

_Sarah studied him quietly for a few moments. "Yes. Some years ago Dana made a passing comment. I'm not sure whether she was trying to get under my skin or if... Well, anyway, I started to wonder if there was any truth to what she claimed to have seen. When I looked for it, I saw it. And eventually Walt had to ask me if Johnny had ever..." She snickered, probably at the memory of how her husband had tried to broach the subject of her ex's sexual habits gently. _

"_Really, Bruce, we've just been waiting to hear it from one of you." She smiled kindly. "I was frustrated with Walt's obvious relief, you know, but then I couldn't really blame him because... I was relieved, too. After he woke up I wasn't sure he'd ever really get close to anyone new... and you remember how I had to egg him on to try any dating." She got a far away look in her eye. "I guess I hadn't even thought to start looking at his friendships."_

_Silence reigned for long minutes. Finally Bruce managed a croaked, "Thank you."_

_Sarah reached out to hug him tightly. "It'll be okay... it has to be," she murmured._

_More streaming colors and high-pitched voices echoing hollowly._

_The next vision was obviously quite a few years after the previous scene, there were more age lines on the visions of Johnny and Bruce as the two men walked the grounds of the Faith Heritage Alliance. Both wore expressions of detached contemplation and their clothes were the muted, dark colors typically reserved for funerals._

"_How you doing?" Bruce finally asked quietly._

_Johnny glanced at him and offered a small smile. "I'm all right. I'm just sort of... not surprised, but it feels strange that he's not here, now." He gestured around them and stopped to glance back towards the building that held Gene Purdy's grand office suite. He frowned. "I think I didn't give him enough credit. He made up for his mistakes... and that's all they were." He looked again at Bruce. "Why did I villainize him so often?"_

_Bruce wrapped a comforting arm around his waist. "Hey, you didn't know what he could have been doing. You'd seen him pursuing your mom for years starting back when you're a kid, who can fault you for having some of the preconceptions from childhood linger on?"_

_Johnny buried his face against Bruce's neck and murmured, "He said he thought..." His voice caught and it took a few moments for him to continue. "He said he would have liked... to think that he had some impact on my life... He said he thought of me like a son."_

_Bruce closed his eyes and brought his other arm up to complete their embrace. "At least you knew..."_

"_Not soon enough," Johnny sighed._

"_I don't think he'd blame you for that. He was a pretty private man when you got right down to it... It probably took a lot of thought to admit that to you."_

_Johnny sighed again and rested in Bruce's arms. "How does time pass us so quickly?"_

_Bruce chuckled softly._

_They were thrown back into the speeding tunnel, catching brief glimpses of other scenes in some future time—snapshots of interwoven lives. When Bruce began to feel dizzy and nauseous, Johnny touched his elbow, making the first of any contact in this prolonged vision. Bruce stared into the familiar eyes that could see beyond what most men saw and he couldn't deny the depth of emotion he saw coming from within—_

Bruce jerked his head up to see if Johnny still had the same expression on his face in the real world. Johnny stared back at him, his eyes revealing an open gaze right into what seemed to be his heart. Bruce caught his breath, stunned that he could have missed such an intense promise for so long.

Johnny started grinning, apparently able to tell that any doubts had been dealt with and now there was only acceptance and love that remained. He lifted his free hand to cup Bruce's face; Bruce met him halfway to kiss.

** Fin **


End file.
